A Broken Poem-Bone by James Diaz

 


Oh how I wanted to be beautiful

but I was not a beautiful thing
made of ancestral mess
and the longest nights / abandoned car parts
a rusted boat filled with rain that I think might have been my sister once

I wanted a porch / no swing
I wanted everything
unbeautiful people spend their whole lives
looking at through other people’s windows

I was the perpetually hungry child
the one who snuck into other people’s homes
taking food out of their fridge and eating outside
small palm to small mouth
guilty as sin
I couldn’t win

now I think it must be beautiful to be beautiful
and one’s sister isn’t turned into salt by an angry crow
and god gives one’s father a gentle nudge towards whole
and one’s shattered mother, miracle by morning, is unshattered,

oh how I wanted to tell you something I never had the words for
but almost – some days, there it is
a beautiful thing
not me ever
but close enough
I could almost swear it was

 

©2020 James Diaz

 

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Bio: : James Diaz is the author of This Someone I Call Stranger (Indolent Books, 2018) as well as the founding editor of Anti-Heroin Chic. Their poems have appeared in Yes Poetry, Gone Lawn, The Collidescope and Thimble Lit Mag. They live by the simple but true motto that “feelings matter” every shape and size of feeling. They believe that every small act of kindness makes an often unseen but significant difference in someone’s life and hope that their poems are a small piece of that.

You can find James’s pages on FaceBook and Twitter.

 

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