All is Forming into Knots by James Diaz

Blood is how i rocked
and rolled my cigarettes
at the table
we stuck pencil lead in light sockets
and rolled dice for dinner drinks
held the mop in my hand for 4 am breakfast
stood under the light when they pepper sprayed
every last one of us for the yelling of a single mad kid
strapped him to a chair and made us listen to the wailing
all night on our metal cots
we picked at our itchy skin
thought blood should pump louder than bombs
but it sat quiet
like you could not fit all these pieces together
no matter how hard you tried
we laughed to keep out that other thing
buckling at the knees
giving up
had to toughen our eyes
hold our breath
no mother mattered
boys will be boys with holes in their heads
shoot their fathers dead
don’t talk about it
here comes the jailer
mop in hand
ready, steady
they can’t get at what you keep hid
lock the door of heart
muscle in the light
the only prayers we say are goddamn
it gets so fucking dark in here
itches divinely
and all fucking night
that kid wails
and wails
and wails.

 

©2018 James Diaz

 

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Bio: James Diaz is the author of This Someone I Call Stranger (Indolent Books, 2018). He is founding Editor of the literary arts & music mag Anti-Heroin Chic. His work has appeared most recently in Occulum and Philosophical Idiot. He lives in upstate NY and occasionally tweets @diaz_james.

You can find James’s pages on FaceBook and Twitter.

 

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