There’s a Map Behind My Eyelids By Sy Roth

Original photography by Robert Sundheimer
Original photography by Robert Sundheimer

There’s a map behind my eyelids.
I keep them open for as long as I can
Don’t want to see the map and
Where I’ve been,
And fear where it will take me.

It’s a prognosticator,
Projectionist’s nightmare
Where the darkness hides
In the deep, dark balls of space
Where respite lounges in dissolute repose–
Long, uninterrupted repose.

A moment in time–
Realization–
Cells disintegrate
Mortification of a soul that lies within.

So, the eyelids stay open like an ebbing tide
A deferment that flutters in the breeze of weakening resolve.
Step-by-step, the markers of a life lived
Appear.
Memories awaken
Transformed into ill-wrought dreams
Of a past transmogrified into the illusions of the present.

It forms a Freddy Krueger amalgam
Where I plummet into the blackness of my reading seat–
Where I have read so often of the fiends
and ghouls that surround me
Dismayed by their adventures
and where I lived among them,
Me, the trepid warrior of silence
Buried beside a minuscule map insert
Relegated to disremembered miles
In microfeet of existence,
An ontological nightmare,
Drawn haphazardly,
A map of extant creatures.

I, a twinkling star way off in the beyond
Eons and light years away
Hung up in a firmament burning with desire to implode.

©2018 Sy Roth
Original photography by Robert Sundheimer

 

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Sy Roth is a retired school administrator who has finally found the sounds of silence and the time to think whole thoughts. This has led him to find words and the ability to shape them. He has published in Visceral Uterus, Amulet, BlogNostics, Every Day Poets, Barefoot Review, Haggard and Halloo, Misfits Miscellany, Mad Swirl, Larks Fiction Magazine, Danse Macabre, Bitchin’ Kitch, Bong is Bard, Humber Pie, Poetry Super Highway, Penwood Review, Masque Publications, Foliate Oak, Miller’s Pond Poetry and The Eloquent Atheist.

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