Mickey, Rocky, Moose America
by John Garmon
I always thought Bullwinkle, Rocky, Boris
And Natasha were the real America. They were
Involved in true espionage, a sense of evil in control.
Mickey was so sweet and Pollyannish, insipid,
A nerd with a high pitched voice, anxious,
Like the fretful people on the freeways;
And he was a shill for Walt’s greedy schemes.
Minnie was one of those throw-away trophy wives.
Bullwinkle possessed a truly unpolished greatness.
He was a grassroots moose of the people.
And Rocky was our genius, an incomparable hero,
Going forth in his innocence to right all wrongs.
Boris was a comical criminal worthy of love.
And Natasha! What a vamp! She had real style.
But Mickey was a mouse, a moping, myopic rodent.
(Why should I be so mean to Mickey?)
Somehow he managed through Walt’s rigged scripts
To come out on top, like a Wall Street trader,
A tenured teacher, lawyer, or a junk bond broker;
Like an adenoidal adolescent, a diminutive dip,
Someone you’d never want to go to bed with,
A creature you’d only find at an amusement park
With other deliberately dumb caricatures, all
Acting stupid for the sake of Walt’s dynasty.
Rocky, Boris, Natasha, and Bullwinkle were different.
You won’t find any Rocky and Bullwinkle Boulevards,
No BorisWorld or Natasha National Park. Only smile
In your mind when you think of them, good thoughts
About charming criminals and ethical enemies.
Mickey was made to make money, and more money,
Getting tourists to spend inflated dollars,
Putting Goofy up front with Donald Duck.
(Maybe this happened after Walt died.)
So, where will the next land be cleared?
Where are the next good employees?
Are they in their costumes yet?
Can we begin the parade?
©John Garmon 2014