Lights Out by Andrew Scott

The Nine Gates by Andrew Scott

Lights Out by Andrew Scott

Prologue – Slipped To Temptation

I am laying here, barely breathing.
Replaying every little thing in my mind
on how it ends with me here.

Surrounded by the night fall
and the sound of silence.
It is just me and my thoughts.

The pain I am in right now
is immense and so intense.
Never thought it would end like this.
Actually did not know what to expect
but now I know how this ends.

Will replay in my mind over and over.
How I succumbed to temptation.

Part I – Limbo

The lights were out for what felt like months
even though it had only been a week.
We did not have water or light.
A few tears were shed
over the spoiled food that turned to garbage.

With each passing day,
lights were coming on
all around us mostly.
Made it seem like we were an island.

Watched them replenish their freezers
and carry more bags inside.
Barbeques were all we could smell
while our food was minimal.
Harder each day to feed us all
and saving were non-existent.

The choice was confusing
but in my mind it had to be made.
The thought of what I was to do
brought nothing but guilt.
I had to provide for the family.
That is what I knew for sure.

Part II – Lust

I did not have to wait long
for the plan to come together
as soon as the sun was set.
I creeped behind a neighboring home
to take and provide.

So cautious in my first steps.
I could swear that every piece of grass
snapped under my feet,
echoing through the air.

So conflicted about what I was doing
but inside I knew I had to
and that is what pushed me.

The freezer garage was left unlocked.
I walked right in
and thought to myself
that people should start locking doors.

A ham was there for the taking
and for the first time
I did not think twice.
I just ran like never before
until I was in my shelter
and let the thrill of the hunt take over.

I had never felt the tingle
that I was feeling then.
The sensation of the taking
was all mine to have.

Part III – Gluttony

Just the aroma coming from the barbeque
started the saliva running
in all of us, the family.

Slices of the full ham, smoking.
Potatoes right beside them
without the sores that were taken off the skin.
It was all going to mix together well.

We counted the minutes
until it was time to eat.
That time could not come soon enough.

The was enough to last for days.
Sliced up, the smell was too great.
It was hypnotizing.
The stomach never seemed to be full
until every little bit was gone
before our very eyes.

There had to be more, somewhere.

Part IV – Greed

Neighbors were flaunting their excess
right in front of our faces.
Their full meals that you could see
through their night windows
while we saw our own barely there goods.

We were able to feast like royalty
for a brief moment in time.
That feeling had to be felt again.

What we had after did not have a taste,
just a horrid after film for the mouth.

It was decided then and there
we were not going without
even if the family did not know
where each meal came form.
They assumed it was by honest means.
The adulation was all mine to have.

Part V – Anger

Plans were running
through my mind all night
while dealing with a restless sleep.
So many emotions were running
through my system.

I had failed to keep vigil.
Making sure at times like this
my family was taken care of.
No food, water and barely a shelter.
No money to replace anything
like there should be.

They did not say anything
but I could feel the anger
and disappointment in their eyes.

Everything was magnified,
every time the laughs
around us were heard.

People were prepared
and I was not.

How dare everyone rub us in it
with their lack of troubles?
Seems that our misfortune
was being looked down upon.

How dare they all?

Part VI – Heresy

I knew most would not agree
with the plans in my head
but damn the public commandments.

None of this is fair in my eyes
so people’s opinion and judgement
can be kept to themselves.

As I formulate the plan
to move when the night arrives
I am starting to realize
that I do not care
about the self-righteous.
Stares I would get
if they knew what I needed.

The eyes that are following me
easily have an opinion
when they are not in these shoes.
Easy for them to have
hypocritical thoughts.

I am sure what they would do
as I am looking at the need of my family.

Part VII – Violence

The plan was concrete.
Two or three hours
after the sun went down
I would make my mission.

Neighbors were so trusting
that quietly breaking in
would not be a problem at all.

The freezer was in the garage.
Same one as before.
It was so easy the first time
why not go back.

I did not anticipate the guard.
A hidden dog in the dark,
taking claim to the territory,
braced to protect it all.

My first instinct was to turn
amd run as hard as I could,
praying that I was faster
than the protector.

I was not faster even though I tried.
The beast wrapped its jaws
around the bottom of my leg.
The pain was unreal
when the teeth pierced my skin.

Falling face first
on the edge of the tree line
heightened the pain
stringing through my body.

To this day I have no idea
when my lights went out.

Part VIII – Fraud

I woke up in self pity,
head pounding with dizziness.

With the commotion made
there was not a way
the neighbors did not hear.
That was what I thought.

Every one was going to know
that I had nothing
except what I took.
Even my family would know
the lies that I told.

All eyes would be on me,
searching for what was not there,
adding to the felt shame.

Before I reached my shelter
would it all start crumbling
by the lights coming on?

Part IX – Treachery

Limping into my home,
what was once a bad idea
now seemed to be the perfect crime.

Laying down, resting,
trying to clear my mind
while patting myself on the back
at a job well done.

My family will look
at the new found bounty
that was fought for.

When the lights come on
the neighbors will never see
what made their feast disappear.

I will be in good standing
as I believe I should be.
I was taking care
of what needed to be
taken care of.

All of the doors had to be opened.
There was no choice.

August 7, 2014 © Andrew Scott

 

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Bio: Andrew Scott is a native of Fredericton, NB. During his time as an active poet, Andrew Scott has taken the time to speak in front of a classrooms, judge poetry competitions as well as published worldwide in such publications as The Art of Being Human, Battered Shadows and The Broken Ones. His books, Snake With A Flower, The Phoenix Has Risen and The Storm Is Coming are available now

 

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